Top Ten Uses for the Word "Zune"

As the Zune, Microsoft’s ham-handed entry into the handheld media arena, nears the lowly peak of its popularity, we’ve been wondering: Why is it that the thing fails to please? Is it the incompatibility of our iTunes-purchased music? The fact that the wireless peer-to-peer feature erases shared media after three short days? Perhaps it’s the unattractive shade of brown that some self-important design studio convinced Microsoft would outshine the iPod? Or is it the name? Neither masculine nor feminine, active nor passive, verb nor noun, the coinage “Zune” achieves a mystical feat. It sounds historical, it’s easily memorized, and it’s utterly undignified. Hebrew-speakers may even recognize its aural similarity to a certain unholy curse word.

So perhaps it's appropriate that it be the moniker slapped on the year’s most disappointing product. We’re thinking “zune” could become the year’s next nonsensical Gen-Y slang word [think “huck” (verb) or “bunk” (adjective)]. Without further ado, then, our Letterman-style Top 10 list of ways to make better use of the word “zune.” —Jake Ward

10. Yo, don't zune that spliff, man. Pass it arrrround.
  9. That’s when I told my boss to go zune himself.
  8. No matter how much cream I apply, my zunes just won’t go away.
  7. It’s not the way the suit is cut—it’s the way the fabric zunes against my skin.
  6. Listen, pal, in a few keystrokes I could zune your credit history to the point where you couldn’t  buy a sandwich.
  5. I tried to hit that 780-twist off the halfpipe, but I, like, totally zuned the landing.
  4. Uh-huh—that hot girl in the red dress over there? I zuned her.
  3. I said what? Well, you know, I was pretty zuned at the holiday office party.
  2. I think I just zuned in my mouth a little bit.
  1. I was trying to jump over that parking meter, but I zuned myself in the Wii.

Comments

[gigigavi]

See that girl?
I would like to zune zune her

[blatant pseudi]

wtZ?

[Cameron]

BAD! BAD use of the awesome Nintendo console!

although, Zune DOES make the sound of some sort of mistake (i guess in the same way Microsoft rings clear in the same area). With the skateboard reference, it sounds a little more dignified than "Bail," as though less pain was inflicted.

It's weird, though... the Zune looks (to an untrained MP3 player eye) as though it should be better than the iPod (excusing the timing portion). Seriously, what's so bad about it?

[nick]

ive actually had both of them. i really liked the zune the software wasnt so hard to use cause i already had like 1000 songs from limeware saved on my computer i love the screen the videos play nicely and if felt pretty cool to have something different from everyone else that worked just as good if not better. i liked the way you change music and raise the volume better i think the clickwheel is a little to sensitive but i never tried the zune to zune sharing. i loved my zune it was so cool BUT i think the worst part is the battery lasted like 2 hours i was so mad at that so i took it back and got an ipod video. but after ive looked at both of them i think the ipod is probably a better choice cause you can play games on it and it sounds better and its alot easier to use

[austin]

wtf? do people actually use it like that? and are you saying in translation:
10. Yo, don't **** that spliff, man. Pass it arrrround.
9. That’s when I told my boss to go **** himself.
8. No matter how much cream I apply, my **** just won’t go away.
7. It’s not the way the suit is cut—it’s the way the fabric **** against my skin.
6. Listen, pal, in a few keystrokes I could **** your credit history to the point where you couldn’t buy a sandwich.
5. I tried to hit that 780-twist off the halfpipe, but I, like, totally **** the landing.
4. Uh-huh—that hot girl in the red dress over there? I **** her.
3. I said what? Well, you know, I was pretty **** at the holiday office party.
2. I think I just **** in my mouth a little bit.
1. I was trying to jump over that parking meter, but I **** myself in the Wii.

if i ever here anyone say this in real life, i am going to slap them...

[anoneemouse]

zune...coule be pronounced: zoo knee. it sounds better to me.

[charles witherspoon]

when i was a kid some 50 yrs ago, we made a spiffy little toy with big 4 hole buttons and string. we called the toy a zuner. by threading a loop of string thru 2 diagonal holes of the button and tying the loop we fashioned a toy which made a ZUNE like sound by pulling on opposite ends of the loop. depending on how fast you made the button spin it would also make a popping sound, supposedly breaking the sound barrier. this homemade toy has been copied by manufacturers selling cool old-fashioned toys to yuppies and their i-poded kids. anyone for zunning!!!

[moNet]

lmao!
When I was a kid some 20 years ago (read:last week sometime when I got bored) I made that same toy! The Zuner is a great accomplishment of even the worst Tailor's Toolbox!
"Zuning" can keep my body occupied for hours while my mind wanders...

[vob converter]

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