A Better Mouth Trap

Having trouble saying no to that bacon-double cheeseburger? Try on patent # US4344424, the "Anti-Eating Face Mask." Lucy Barmby of Sacramento, California has invented a Hannibal Lecter-esque diet aid that can be locked in place over your mouth. Barmby describes her pad-lock equipped contraption as "a cup-shaped member conforming to the shape of the mouth and chin that thereby prevents the ingestion of food by the user." In other words, a metal caged strapped over your yapper. As primitive as it sounds, it appears to be a failsafe solution for uncontrolled cravings: Sub sandwiches and other caloric solids bounce right off the mask, as shown in an animated patent drawing found in Delphion's Gallery of Obscure Patents. Other notably awesome and bizarre inventions in the gallery include an inflatable carpet that turns into a mattress and a bird diaper. My own revolutionary idea (which I've yet to patent, so don't steal it) is a car seat that doubles as a porta john. It turns waste into fuel and eliminates the need for inconvenient rest stops. Not to be paired with Anti-Eating Face Mask of course. —Nicole Dyer

Related:

Welcome to the Invention Convention
The Fashion Flu Mask

Comments

[mint]

I would buy one if it makes somebody completly shut up.

[Lecter]

But how will I enjoy my farva beans and a nice ciante now?

[Mythgarr]

Although it's failure as a diet aid is assured, it has a bright future in the BDSM community

[peter tuck]

this thing sounds about as useful as biodegradable house paint.

[Sunny]

As a anti-food diet aid it's an absurd idea, however it may work for some people that don't have the will power to quit smoking. Strap on the mask for the first like 3 days and away you go.

[mta]

my neighbor's kid needs one he is 2 and loves to bite everything and anyone, he has a small head so what is the smallest size

[mta]

my neighbor's kid needs one he is 2 and loves to bite everything and anyone, he has a small head so what is the smallest size

[Aduard]

This might be good for people who eat in their sleep

[free]

what is wonder is if there is a lock or whatever you put it on give the key to someone they leave and forget about you how do u get it off?

[ACE]

This is as useful as a road sign in the dessert.

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Agree with Mint!

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Agree with a flat tax system

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Are you crazy with this thing?

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this thing sounds about as useful as biodegradable house paint......

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this thing sounds about as useful as biodegradable house paint.

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As a anti-food diet aid it's an absurd idea, however it may work for some people that don't have the will power to quit smoking. Strap on the mask for the first like 3 days and away you go.

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Thanks for sharing..Interesting subject and well written..hope to be back soon and see more stuff